D Gray Man: Truth or Dare?
by lazyllama-xx
Summary: Ever wanted to see Kanda in nothing but boxers with chopsticks in his hair? Allen surviving a week without Mitarashi? Miranda getting drunk? Lavi and Allen getting frisky? Lenalee dying? Just kidding...or am i?
1. Of Soba and Nakedness

_**Woohoo my 9th fanfic :3**_

_**I dont know if there's already a dgm truth or dare, and i cbf looking, but this idea has been in my head for a while now.**_

* * *

_We dare you to run into the cafeteria, wearing only your underpants, stick two chopsticks in your hair and dump soba noodles on Komui's head._

How did this happen? How did this happen to him_, Kanda Yuu?_

'Why the hell am I doing this crap?' Kanda muttered to himself darkly as he began stripping in the corridor leading to the cafeteria. He could hear his so called teammates laughing their asses off nearby. He gritted his teeth.

_They took Mugen. As soon as this is over, I will have the Baka Usagi's head on a plate wearing Moyashi's old man hair._

Getting somewhat grim amusement from the mental picture, he straightened his shoulders, shivering slightly in the cool air.

_I am going to regret this._

How did this happen?

* * *

_'Ne…Allen I'm bored'_

_'Haven't you had enough fun hiding Komui-san's beret?'_

_Lavi shot a lazy stare over at his white-haired friend, who was smiling. 'Yeah, but now he's in his office cryin' and he won't come out. What's the point in teasing people if they ain't there to see it?'_

_Allen chuckled. 'Well then, what do you suggest we do?'_

_Lavi paused, thinking. A slow, evil grin light up his face, Allen shifted away from him nervously._

_'L-Lavi?', he said quietly. 'What are you thinking…?'_

_'I just thought of a game we could play', Lavi chuckled. 'We'll need more people though'_

* * *

'_Yuu, my love! Do you wanna-?'_

'_No, Baka Usagi'_

'_Enough with the damn Japanese, Yuu-poo!', Lavi shouted. 'And you haven't even heard what I'm offering'_

_Kanda shot a dark-eyed glare at him. 'No'_

_A small glint of something passed through Lavi's eyes. He gave a dramatic sigh and swayed to his feet, running a hand through his loose red hair. 'Dear me, whatever will happen to this darling sword in my hands?'_

_Kanda froze mid stride away from Lavi, turning slowly and creakily, eyes wide. 'What…what did you just say?', he croaked. When he saw what Lavi held in his arms he did a 360 degree head spin, giving a mix between a whimper and a groan._

_Lavi cradled the anti-akuma weapon Mugen as if it were a newborn child. He was smiling and gazing down at it fondly. 'What a cute pair of earrings you'll make, huh?'_

'_You', Kanda choked. 'Mugen…how…wh…what?!'_

_Lavi jumped as if startled, giving an airy laugh. 'Oh, this pretty little thing?', he gestured at Mugen. 'Well, I found it lying in a trash can and decided to adopt it', he paused and pulled a fat white chicken from behind his back. 'And this is Fred! I found him there too!'_

_Kanda's hands curled into fists. His mouth was opening and closing, but no sound came out. Lavi grinned like the cat that got the cream._

'_You want this sword?' he asked with raised eyebrows, waving it through the air. Fred the chicken jumped onto his head, clucking. 'All you have to do is-'_

_Kanda let out a huge, furious roar and lunged at Lavi. The red-haired Exorcist jumped lithely out of the way, tutting. He landed on Kanda's chair while Kanda ended up tackling Allen, who went down with a yelp. The yelp wavered and echoed around the room as Kanda straddled him, smacking his head repeatedly on the wooden floorboards of his room._

'_That's no way to treat your blackmailer, Yuu-chan', Lavi told him chidingly. Kanda did another head spin, steam rushing out of his nose and ears. 'Now sit and listen'_

'_Give. It. Back', Kanda hissed, eye twitching. 'I have dealt with your crap longer than anyone else, but now you draw the line, Baka Usagi'_

_Lavi dodged Kanda's second dive towards him easily, Fred the chicken clucking disdainfully as he was ruffled from his perch. 'Allen! Hold him down or something!'_

_Allen was dazed from having head repeatedly smacked against the floor, and staggered to his feet, squinting at Kanda. He scowled. 'Crown Clown!' he shouted. After a few seconds of silvery-white light, Allen had Kanda wrapped up in the tattered white cloak. The blue-haired Exorcist couldn't move any body part other than his head, but still squirmed, face bright red with anger, eyes narrowed to cat-like slits which were focused on Lavi._

_Lavi hopped down from Kanda's bed, making his way slowly over to Kanda, tossing Mugen up in the air and catching it with ease. He stopped in front of Kanda, smiling._

'_Here's the deal', he announced. 'You're gonna play a little game with me, Allen and some others when I get them'_

'_What freakin' game?', Kanda snarled._

_Lavi smirked, obviously waiting for the question. 'You'll see, Yuu', he swung Mugen tantalizingly by the hilt in front of Kanda's face. 'Do we have a deal, Yuu-chan?'_

'_I hate you'_

'_I'll take that as a yes'_

* * *

And so here he was, wearing dark blue boxer shorts, arms over his chest, scowl etched onto his face without any sign of moving.

'Go sexy Yuu-poo!', Lavi called. Laughter followed. Kanda shot him his best and worst glare that clearly wished him to die a painful death. Lavi grinned in response.

The group of devils watching him consisted of Lavi, Allen, Lenalee, Miranda, Krory, Reever, Johnny and Chaoji.

Komui was sobbing into Jerry's shoulder. The violet-haired god of food was patting him on the shoulder, also crying for no apparent reason.

'M-m-m-m-y b-beret is g-gone and so is L-L-Lenaleeeee!', Komui shrieked, bawling a second later. Jerry nodded in sympathy.

_I do not believe this. I will never get Jerry's soba again if I do this…_

But out of the corner of his eye he saw Lavi waving a cardboard sign that showed Allen spearing mitarashi dango with Mugen.

Growling, Kanda crunched up the piece of paper. Without any more hesitation, he bolted down the corridor, Lavi, Allen, Lenalee and Reever's cheering clearly audible. He burst through the now open cafeteria double doors, not pausing to listen to the surprised and affronted gasps and return the staring.

He skidded past the long counter, snatching up a pair of yellow chopsticks and a soba container without breaking stride. He jumped on a table, up over the heads of a few startled finders. Komui hadn't noticed him yet. Grimacing, he shoved the chopsticks through his dark hair, where they remained suspended like two antennae.

He could feel his face burning, but passed it off as anger rather than embarrassment. After sliding under the entwined arms of two white-robed people and landed hands first on a table, flipping off it and landing in a half crouch before leaping up again, above Komui's head, brandishing the soba container.

The noodles slid down the Chief's head with a loud squelching sound. Jerry leapt away from Komui with a shriek, hands clasped to his face in horror. Kanda felt a small flare of triumph as he skid to a stop beside Komui.

The triumph was short lived as he was suddenly lifted in the air, hands suspended by his sides. Squirming, he turned, eyes widening.

'Even if I deserved it for something, you shouldn't have done that, Kanda-kun', Komui's voice was low and deadly, similar to the tone he used around Bak Chan concerning Lenalee. 'Do you think after two similar incidents I wouldn't have protection?'

'A-Another Komurin?!', Kanda whispered, scowling. 'Komui, tell your robot to let me go'

Komui turned, soba noodles slipping off his head. He gave low, dark chuckle. 'I don't think so, Kanda-kun. You will pay for that. And you will return my beret'

'I don't have your damn beret!'

'That's what they all say'

Kanda did some creative swearing in full volume Japanese, followed by a single name.

'_BA~KA USAGI~!'_

* * *

**Use your imagination to imgaine what Komui would do to him XD (Ahem ahem...;3)**

**If you have any ideas for chapter 2 or any ideas of how i can torture the cute little Exorcists, leave a review or PM me XD**

**till next time, **

**-Lazyllama-**

* * *


	2. Of Puberty and KSSESHHFUGLH

**_Yo, _**

**_wow, i wasn't expecting to get this much of a response from you guys! :O 6 reviews? 10 alerts? 7 faves? And in less than 24 hours?_**

**_You're all amazing ^^_**

**_The LaviXAllen moment won't be coming in until chap 3 or 4, but i think you'll like this one anyway ;)_**

* * *

Lavi, Allen, Miranda, Lenalee, Chaoji, Reever and Johnny watched in open-mouthed shock as Kanda limped towards them. His long cobalt hair was…short.

'K-Kanda…', Reever began weakly. 'W-What did Komui do to y-?'

'-Don't ever say his name in front of me again'', Kanda snarled. 'And I don't want to talk about it. Do I get Mugen back now, Baka Usagi?'

Lavi grinned and shook his head. 'Not till the end of the game!'

Kanda growled. Lavi crouched and beckoned the others to join him. When they were in a crooked circle, he pulled out a bag, green eye glinting.

'Ok', he announced. 'We will all hold Fred Food in our hands. Whoever Fred eats from will be the next in line for Truth or Dare. And since Yuu just did a Dare, it's up to him to decided what will happen to the next person. Kapish?'

The circle murmured in agreement. Lavi nodded, smirking, and dropped a few pieces of bread into everyone's hand, excluding Kanda, who watched stonily. He placed Fred in the middle of the circle.

'Cluck, cluck, cluck…cluck?' Fred said, turning to each hand in turn. Chaoji and Johnny trembled and cringed as Fred went near them. After several seconds of clucking and head-dipping, Fred's head shot out and nipped at Allen's hand.

Allen swore, eyeing Kanda defiantly.

_Smirk._

Allen shuddered. He didn't like the look of that smirk.

'Moyashi, what'll it be then?' he drawled. 'Truth..or _Dare?'_

Allen burst out laughing. Everyone stared at him as he rolled around, crying and clutching his sides. After several minutes, he wobbled to his knees, still chortling, and wiped a few tears from his red eyes.

'Y-you actually think I'm going to do a Dare from _you?'_ he hiccoughed. 'Yeah, sure, _Ba-Kanda_'

Kanda growled, eyes narrowing. Then something flashed in his dark eyes and the smirk returned, more dangerous than ever. 'Oh? Are you too coward then, Moyashi?'

Allen's amused expression snapped to a scowl. 'Me? Coward? What are you smoking, Kanda?'

_Smile._

'Jesus', Lavi gasped. 'What _are_ you smoking, Kanda?! You _never_ smile!'

'Well, this proves me right', Kanda said. 'The Moyashi won't take a dare from little old me 'cause he's a_ coward_', he said the last word slowly and painfully. Allen's eye twitched.

'I am _not_ a coward!'

'Don't attempt to make me laugh. You have the voice of a five-year old Lenalee'

'I am a man!'

Kanda made an odd coughing sound. The others blinked in confusion.

'Have you even hit puberty?' Kanda whispered. 'You _look_ like a little girl'

'Shut up, Kanda!' Allen snarled, face bright red. 'I'm three years younger than you, what do you expect?'

'I expect you to at least look your age, Moyashi', Kanda was still smiling. 'Even though you eat like an elephant, you haven't grown one inch since you came here'

'What's this got to do with whether he's a coward or not?' Reever interrupted, not holding back a smile.

Allen scrunched up his face in anger.

_Grin._

More coughing.

Kanda's face was red, and he was coughing repeatedly, one arm clutching at his shirt.

Allen glared at him, confused. 'Is he having a seizure or something? Please tell me he's dying'

Lavi squinted at the still coughing Kanda. 'I think…he's…_laughing?!'_

Lenalee giggled. 'I guess this is what he meant by "Don't attempt to make me laugh". Congratulations, Allen-kun! You made Kanda laugh!'

Lavi was flabbergasted. 'I don't believe it. I told him my funniest jokes when he least suspected it, including in the hot springs, and he _never_ laughed or even cracked a smile!'

His gaze slid over at Allen fondly. 'I love you, man! You made Yuu laugh!'

'Please don't say that, Lavi', Allen muttered, pink. 'Anyway. Kanda, I will do your stupid dare'

Kands stopped his choking/coughing/laughing to look up at Allen with a feral grin. The other six watching the two of them recoiled.

'Fine then…Moyashi, I dare you to survive three days without mitarashi dango, and eat only…moyashi'

Lavi blinked. 'Eh?! You're makin' him a cannibal!'

'Fine', Allen said firmly. 'And if I win this dare,_ you_ will stop calling me a damn _moyashi_ and…and…'

'Eat a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries provocatively in front of Komui?', Lavi suggested innocently in a fast cough-like whisper.

Allen grinned, Kanda's faded.

'Yes! Excellent!' Allen's eyes swiveled back to Kanda. 'Well, Kanda, do we have a deal?'

Kanda seemed to be chewing his own tongue. He _hated_ sweet things. And he hated Komui. And the Moyashi. And Lavi. And soba. Wait, no. He loved soba.

'Fine', Kanda muttered after a few seconds. Allen and Lavi grinned. Allen stuck his hand out. Kanda stared at the limb in disgust, recoiling.

'Moyashi, you expect me to touch one of your many body parts that have feminine aspects?', Kanda snapped. 'Your Moya_she_ germs will rub off on me'

Allen's eye twitched. 'Fine then', he said through gritted teeth. 'Since you've dared me, and I've dared you, it's someone else's turn apart from us to Spin the Fred', he turned to the person next to him, who happened to be Lavi. The red-headed Exorcist grinned.

They repeated what they had done a few minutes earlier.

Fred clucked and pecked at Reever's hand. The Australian swore, scowling at the chicken.

'You're dead meat in a sandwich', he hissed. He grinned a second later, tilting his chin up.'I choose Dare'

Lavi tapped a pale finger against his chin thoughtfully. He broke into a bright smile a second later. 'I got one!' he leaned forwards. The rest of the group followed suit.

'Remember when you told me Komui-san keeps his hair in place with a special cream?', he asked slowly. Reever shrugged and nodded. His face suddenly went blank, and his mouth dropped open in horror, dropping the straw he had been chewing.

'L-Lavi...you can't be s-serious', Reever struggled to keep his voice even. Lavi smiled.

'I Dare you to steal Komui's hair gel'

Reever fell back with a groan while Lenalee, Johnny, Allen, Miranda and Chaoji gasped. Kanda stared quietly, smirking again.

'Oh God…', Reever whispered. 'Please get off your divine backside and help me!'

* * *

'Oh God, oh God, oh _God'_, Reever hissed. He was about through the double doors leading to Komui's office. The Group and Fred the chicken were hovering nearby. He turned to them, scowling.

'You aren't backin' out, are ya, Reever?' Lavi called to him. Reever huffed.

'Of course not, stupid Cyclops!' he snapped back. He took a deep breath. 'It's okay, Reever', he whispered to himself. 'You're Australian. You can do anything'

Reever smirked and burst through the doors.

The purple-haired chief shrieked and pulled a paper bag over his head. It had two holes for eyes and a scrawled line that was meant to be a smile.

'R-R-R-R-Reever?', Komui quavered. 'W-What are you doing in here?'

Reever raised an eyebrow. 'I work here, don't I, Komui?'

'Ah, yes, yes of course', he did a double take. 'Why are you here?! Why aren't you looking for my beret?'

Reever sighed. 'I cannot believe you put all available Finders, staff _and_ Exorcists on this stupid search. You should spend more time doing your damn paperwork', he jerked his head over to the barely visible desk which was covered in the said paperwork.

Komui huffed. 'It's not stupid! How can a lonely chief function without his beret? It's unheard of!'

'Only in your world, Chief',Reever sighed. While Komui was sniffling through the paper bag, Reever casually scanned the room.

Once before, he had walked in on Komui doing his hair. He had been angry and confused after seeing the amount of water being sucked from the Public Hot Springs and had tracked the trail to Komui's room. His room was _in_ his office.

Technically, he took his work home with him…or his home to work with him. Anyway, Komui had jumped down from a huge, circular shower fixed in his roof, a Komurin Cleaner wrapping a towel around his waist just before the steam cleared.

Despite the fact he had been rooted to the spot in horror after seeing the three foot high afro on his chief's head, Reever had followed the Chinese man's arm as it reached into a metal drawer and pulled out a pink and blue bottle.

_Komui's Super Secret Extra Strength Hair Holder For Unruly God-likeHair (KSSESHHFUGLH)_

He had quickly ducked out of the room, deciding to grill Komui about the selfish use of water use after he had deleted the disturbing images from his mind with a nice beer and apple pie.

Reever's eyes locked on the desk. While Komui was still bawling, Reever scuttled over to the desk, a trickle of sweat running down his neck. If he was caught, who knew what would happen to him?

As he pulled out the metal drawer, a loud alarm sounded, drowned out by Komui's screaming, and Reever gasped as an electrical jolt ran through his body, making his already spiky blonde hair stand on end.

A cage snapped around him, and he could hear snapping sounds. He looked below and gasped as the cage was being lifted up in the air, a pool of fat piranhas hissing and jumping up at him. The bottom of the cage was starting to crumble. His hand brush up against the bars and another shock ran through his body. Panicking, he fumbled around his back pocket and came up with a straw and some gum.

_Crap._

Komui was still wailing away and took no notice of Reever or the flashing red lights and the equally loud alarms. Seeing this as a chance to live, Reever shoved the gum in his mouth and chewed rapidly, stretching out the straw as far as he could.

After a minute, Reever spat the gum out of his mouth and shoved it at the end of the straw, which he placed in his mouth. His eyes widened as the bars around him tightened, growing smaller each second.

He took a deep breath and took aim, one eye closed, the other squinting. He blew into the straw and with a _phwoot!_, the gumball shot out of the straw and bounced off the big red button on Komui's desk which read _Conveniently large, bright red button which will shut off the shrinking bars that will electrocute you if you touch them and the piranhas which are hovering below you and the ridiculously loud alarm._

The deafening alarm shut off, the bars vanished and the cage broke apart just as the floor slid back over the disappointed piranhas. Reever fell to his knees with a gasp, grabbed the _KSSESHHFUGLH _and stumbled back out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

'H-holy shit', Reever panted, bolting down the corridor where Lavi and the rest of the group were hovering. Their mouths were parted with shock once more.

'Did you get it?' Johnny asked in a trembling voice. Wordlessly, Reever handed them the bottle, still out of breath.

'Sweet merciful crap!' Lavi yelped, single eye glued on the bottle. 'You actually did it?'

Allen's violet eyes flickered up to Reever's head. He broke into a grin. 'I think you need that stuff now, Reever-san'

* * *

**_Ehehehehe... :3_**

**_Thank you all for your suggestions, and believe me i will try add them in, except there wont be any character deaths...but i might start a fanfic : 10 Ways to kill Lenalee Lee and Chaoji Han. Catchy, don't ya think? ;3_**

_**MoonlitMelody, diannaa, WrathofMugen (LOL), thefirequeen, Zenigami, Rika the Strange, **_

_**You're my first 6 reviewers! XD Thank you all very much! I will try and add your suggestions! ^^**_

_**keep 'em comin, **_

_**-Lazyllama- **  
_


	3. Of Down There Hair and Double Dares

**_Alright, it;s 2 30 in the morning down here in Australia, and i am still wide awake along with one of my other friends. I just finished this, and im putting it up now cause i am so damn excited XD_**

**_YAOI time! ;3_**

* * *

Lavi's single green eye scanned the faces of the group hovering around him. Reever was in a corner, swearing profusely while trying to maintain his blonde hair which now resembled a tumble weed.

It was now the day after Reever's dare, and the man's hair still hadn't returned to normal. He was cursing Komui at the top of his lungs while the others watched.

Christmas was fast approaching, an event that brightened the grim atmosphere that still hung over the Black Order after the Level Four akuma attack. Despite the speed at which things were changing, it looked like Christmas was going to be spent in the same castle. Jerry and plenty of other helpers had hung up decorations all around the castle, ranging from red, gold and green streamers to little bunches of mistletoe. A huge tree was being set up in the cafeteria for the event.

Reever noticed the mistletoe, and knew it was his turn for the Truth or Dare next. Lavi was going to _pay_ for making him do that Dare. And he'd make sure he'd get his revenge.

It was no longer Truth or Dare. It was no Dare or Double Dare. Courtesy of Lavi.

Allen was tapping his foot against the floor, frowning and chewing his tongue. The others had smiled.

He was going into withdrawal. It had been _hours_ since he last had mitarashi dango.

Kanda had noticed this, and Allen wanted desperately to punch that smirk of his face, but told himself it'll be worth it when _he_ loses the dare.

'Alright', Lavi said cheerfully. 'Yuu, Allen and Reever have just gone, so Reever, it's your turn to pick who'

The crouched down and waited for Fred to waddle over again. Reever did an inward smirk.

Krory whimpered when Fred jumped onto his lap, clutching at his frilly sleeve. 'Oh dear…so what happens now?'

Reever grinned. 'Truth or Dare, Krory?'

'Oh…Umm…' Krory looked confused. 'After what I have just seen, I don't want to take a dare from _any_ of you, so I am going to choose Truth'

Reeve nodded, humming in thought. 'Ok then…Let's see…Ah!', he slammed his fist into his other hand. He leaned forward, grin widening. 'What's your natural hair colour?'

Krory blinked surprised. 'That's it? Oh, well the-'

'-That's not the question', Reever interrupted. 'I just want to know before I truly ask my question'

'Oh…well, it's black _and_ white naturally'

Reever's grin turned impossibly wide. He leaned closer, beckoning for Krory to do the same. He whispered something into the pale exorcist's ear, pointing at his lap. Krory's mouth dropped open, his eyes widened and he turned bright red, shaking his head.

'D-Do I h-have to answer that?', he looked horrified. Reever leant back, looking completely at ease. He nodded brightly. Krory blanched.

'I-it's an embarrassing and personal question though', Krory protested. 'Why do you need to know what colour…_that_ is?!'

'Just answer the question, Kuro-chan', Lavi sighed, curious.

Krory gulped, head bowed in embarrassment. The others, especially Reever and Lavi, leant forward, straining to hear his answer.

'…grey…', Krory's voice was so faint Reever almost missed it. His eyes widened and he tipped his head back and laughed, falling back and clutching his sides.

'A-are you serious?!', Reever choked between fits of laughter. 'You're a very special man, Krory'

Krory hid behind the pointed collar of his coat, turning a darker shade of red each second.

Lavi had figured out what Reever asked, and was laughing himself, tears leaking out of his eye. After several minutes, he and Reever hiccoughed themselves back to seriousness while the rest of the group looked confused.

Kanda seemed to also understand the hidden joke, and was struggling to keep his small smirk from growing. He turned pink with the effort. Lenalee, Chaoji, Allen, Miranda and Johnny looked confused.

Allen was the most curious. He looked at Kanda, who was closest to him. 'Hey, what are you all laughing about?'

Kanda shot a small glance at him. 'Don't worry, Moyashi, you wouldn't have it yet', Lavi and Reever burst into a fresh wave of laughter. Krory was still hiding and the others looked even more confused and irritated.

Allen scowled. 'I'm old enough to have whatever you're talking about!', Kanda broke into a half smile half grimace while Lavi and Reever rolled around.

'A-Allen p-please stop t-talking', Lavi gasped. 'My ribs are breaking…', Allen pouted.

Lenalee huffed. 'Fine! If you're not going to share your little discussion then can we move on?'

Lavi nodded, taking deep breaths to steady himself. 'O-ok, Kuro-chan, it's your turn'

Krory gave a small nod, still pink.

Lenalee yelped as Fred bit her finger. She lifted her hand, frowning, and inspected the small bead of blood there. Johnny giggled.

'I guess Fred-san doesn't like you', Lenalee shot a small glare at him. She sighed and ran an uninjured hand through her short hair.

'Fine', she sighed. 'I choose Truth as well'

Krory mumbled something. She squinted. 'Huh?', she said.

'He asked if you wore anything under that little skirt you used to wear', Lavi translated. Krory shot him a horrified look.

'What?' Lenalee yelped. 'What kind of question is that?'

Lavi shrugged. 'Dunno, first thing that came to my head'

'He's kidding, Lenalee', Allen said firmly. 'Krory, what did you _really_ say?'

Krory cleared his throat and removed the collar from his face. 'What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you', it was also the first thing that came to his head. Unlike Reever, he didn't want to ask her anything that could mortify her.

Lenalee sighed. 'When I was thirteen, I went on a date with a boy I met while I was in town. He was very rich and came from a noble family, so he invited me to their mansion. Somehow, Nii-san found out and barged in through a their _wall_ with an gun. When the dust cleared, the boy had a giant octopus on his head. Nii-san then used his hair gel to stick him to a very expensive painting and dragged me back home. He is now banned from town and I have to stay five hundred yards away from the boy'

Silence followed.

'_Boooooooooring!_', Lavi drawled. Lenalee scowled.

'How about we get rid of Truth', Allen suggested. 'We should replace it with something else'

'Like what?', Miranda asked timidly.

'Double Dare!', Chaoji exclaimed, smiling meekly. 'So two people instead of one have to do a dare!', there were murmurs of agreement. Lavi nodded.

'Dare or Double dare it is', he grinned. 'Well then, shall we go again?'

Fred hopped onto Lavi's head. His eye swiveled up and he sighed. 'Ok…I choose Double Dare'

Lenalee smiled. 'I Dare you to kiss Allen-kun'

Everything went silent.

'Say what now?' Lavi cupped an ear, scrunching up his face in mock thought. Lenalee's smile widened, and Kanda's returned. Allen paled.

'I Double Dare you and Allen', Lenalee repeated. '_To kiss_'

Lavi blinked. Allen turned pink. Lavi shrugged. 'Ok', Allen's head snapped towards him.

'W-What?', Allen's voice was a pitch higher than normal. He stifled a squeal as Lavi turned to face him, eye glinting.

'Come here, _Allen-kun'_, Lavi crooned. He was on all fours now, crawling slowly but surely over to Allen. The white-haired Exorcist was mirroring Lavi's movements, only he was stumbling back from the approaching rabbit.

'L-L-Lavi! What are you doing?!'

'It's a Double Dare'

'You _must_ complete the Dare', Lenalee said happily. She and Miranda both had their hands clasped, stars in their eyes.

'Oh, the forbidden love', Miranda sighed. 'How beautiful!'

'Make it good, Lavi!', Reever called with a grin.

'Baka Usagi likes the Moyashi', Kanda muttered. 'A match made in Hell'

Krory was red again, but looked relieved. Relieved that it wasn't him. 'Y-You don't seem surprised, Kanda'

Kanda gave a small shrug. 'The rabbit has finally found its mate'

'He's…_male_ though!', Johnny whined.

Kanda's cold stare slid over to him, eyebrow raised. 'Male? The Moyashi? Didn't I make it clear before he was little girl?'

'Oh God, screw this!' Allen burst out. Just as Lavi's lips were about to meet his he shoved the older male away and staggered down the corridor. Lavi stared after him.

'Oh, I will screw something', Lavi whispered with a grin. Chuckling, he smoothly rose to his feet, ignoring the group's staring, and calmly followed Allen's footsteps, humming as he did so.

'L-Lavi, where are you going?', Lenalee called after him. He paused.

'I'm looking for my mate'

* * *

Allen took deep breaths and ran a hand through his snowy locks, eyes wide. He was beyond embarrassed and…confused. Why were his cheeks warm? Why was his heart thumping so fast? Why hadn't he moved away from the approaching red head quicker?!

'Ugh!', he thunked his head against the tiled wall, lilac eyes closed.

He had been running for several minutes now and had taken refuge in a rarely used bathroom. Most of the castle's occupants used the hot springs to bathe and such, but the bathroom was used for everything else.

Allen looked up and saw his own reflection looking back at him. His cheeks were flushed, and he had an overall look of panic. He frowned as his stomach rumbled.

He was so damn hungry. He hadn't eaten for _hours_, and every time he thought of his sweet mitarashi his mouth watered. He was forbidden everything but cursed bean sprouts. He needed something to stop the cravings.

'Allen', a voice sang in his ear. He jumped about a foot in the air, shrieking. He landed again, grabbing the sink to keep his balance.

Lavi was sitting against the blue-tiled wall with his long legs crossed in front of him, hands behind his head, the picture of ease. He was smiling, green eye focused on Allen.

'Lavi!', Allen yelped. 'How the heck did you get in here?!'

Lavi shrugged. 'I came in through the door'

'What about the others?' Allen struggled to keep his voice even. Another shrug.

'They don't know where we are'

…_Help!_, Allen thought. It felt like there was a snake at the pit of his stomach, and he could feel his cheeks burning. 'M-maybe we can ask them t-to change the d-dare to something else', _something I can actually do!_

'Allen, I _never_ back down from a dare', Lavi told him. 'And that's not gonna change. Now get your albino butt down here and kiss me', Allen shook his head rapidly and scooted further away from Lavi, staggering to his feet.

'Make me!' Allen snapped. Lavi's eye narrowed, but something that wasn't irritation flickered in them, and he looked triumphant.

_It looked like he wanted me to say…shit!_

'Don't you da-!'

He never even saw him move.

In an instant, Allen felt himself being pushed up against the wall, wrists pinned by his head, a now darkened green eye boring into his own. His eyes widened as he took in the emotions flitting through it.

Amusement. Playfulness. Determination. _Lust._

* * *

**TBC! (To be continued)**

**That was my FIRST EVER YAOI! ****I was hyperventilating. And so was my friend, kuranakarixx who was BETAing this for me.**

**Sorry to those who don't like yaoi! There will be some throughout the rest of the story, but nothing mushy yucky, cause im not ready for that.**

**chuu, chuu, **

**-Lazy Llama- Please review! Tell me if the yaoi bit was good!**

**PS: 10 ways to kill lenalee lee has just been posted up! XD**


	4. Of Mistletoe and Almonds

**_Hey! the late update isnt my fault! i had no internet and no MW for ages == _**

**_i also went to SMASH! convention XD It was so much fun! So many cool cosplays and i saw two Sailor Moon transvestites! (One of them had me fooled for a girl...)_**

**_Anyway, i hope you enjoy! This was a fun chapter to write! ^^_**

* * *

After a moment of blankness, Allen yelped and tried to shove Lavi away from him. The redhead automatically grabbed his wrist as they fell. He tripped over the edge of the ceramic bathtub and fell heavily, Allen sprawled on top of him.

'Ow', Allen muttered, lifting his head off Lavi's chest.

'I'm the one on the bottom', Lavi grumbled. Then he smiled. 'Not that I mind, in this case'

'What?', Allen blinked, confused. Lavi grinned at his younger friend's clueless expression.

'Ah, Allen,' he sighed. 'You're so naïve.'

Allen frowned. Remembering where he was, he gasped and staggered away from Lavi, to the other side of the tub. It wasn't built for two people though, and Allen didn't get as far as he wanted to be.

Lavi shifted his legs so he was crouching, and quickly leaned forward to place two hands on either side of Allen's head. Allen stifled a shriek and slid down a bit.

'Lavi, there is definitely some way around this', he tried to reason. 'You said they weren't here yet, right? That means we can just pretend to do it and-', Lavi placed a pale finger on his lips, silencing him.

'Mistletoe', Lavi smiled, eyes flickering up. Allen's followed his, and they widened when he felt a soft set of lips press against his.

----

'Allen-kun! Lavi! Where are you?'

Holding a squirming Fred the Chicken in her hands, Lenalee scanned the corridor for any signs of her friends. '…I could have sworn I saw Lavi skipping down here…'

The door in front of her slammed open. Her shriek was muffled by the wood. With a dull _thud_ she staggered back, Fred successfully leaping out of her arms, onto the newly revealed Allen's head. Lavi was beside him, one hand in his pocket, the other ruffling his crimson hair. Allen was tomato-red, and it didn't look like that was going to change.

Lenalee looked up at them, blinking. 'D-did you do it…?', she asked tentatively. Miranda giggled. Allen turned even redder.

'Sure we did', Lavi smirked. 'Look at the Moyashi's face!', he grinned and looped an arm around his younger friend's shoulders. Fred clucked importantly and settled himself in Allen's hair.

'W-what is he doing?', Allen muttered, still dazed.

'I think he's making a nest!', Krory said. He and Reever smiled. Allen couldn't care less at the moment. He was confused, dazed and light-headed.

Lenalee looked suspicious but shrugged. 'Alright. Lavi, it's your turn to spin Fred-san', Fred hissed at her from his perch. Lenalee scowled in return.

Miranda was up next. She whimpered nervously, biting her lip.

'Ok', Lavi chirped. 'What'll it be?'

'D-dare…', Miranda mumbled.

'Allen, any ideas?', Lavi asked the boy sweetly. He blinked and looked around. Allen was sitting on the opposite side of the circle, as far away from the redhead as possible. His knees were drawn up to his chest, and he looked beyond confused and upset. He jumped violently when he heard Lavi's voice and shook his head.

'Ok then, I'll pick', he smiled. He liked Miranda. He didn't want to give her anything too challenging or embarrassing. He wasn't that mean, after a-

'I Dare you to get drunk', the words were out of Lavi's mouth before he even thought them. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. Miranda paled, large eyes wide with worry.

'D-drunk?', she repeated in a whisper. She began to shake her head, but stopped, smiling faintly as if she knew something the others didn't.

'Alright', she said meekly. 'I'll do it'

'Excellent!', Lavi said brightly, clapping his hands together. 'General Cross left some alcoholic gifts for me and Yuu-chan which are probably strong enough to knock out an elephant'

'That's our secret weapon against the Earl then?', Reever grinned.

----

They sat at the empty cafeteria with dozens of empty bottles littered around them. The group stood or sat huddled around Miranda, jaws wide. Other than some slight nervous giggling, she didn't seem the slightest bit drunk.

'What are you?', Reever whispered in awe, eyes wide.

Miranda smiled, not looking the least bit drunk. 'Before I was found by Allen-kun and Lenalee-chan, I used to drink a lot', she explained, 'After a while I gained a very high tolerance of alcohol'

'Well that's no fun', Lavi grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting.

Miranda's smile turned both apologetic and smug. 'Sorry, Lavi. Is it someone else's turn no-?', she cut off in an odd squeak, clapping a hand over her mouth.

'Miranda? Are you alright?', Reever asked. Miranda fumbled through the mass of bottles, finding the last one she drank. She blinked a couple of times at the label, lips parting in surprise.

'Almonds', she hissed. 'This has _almonds?_'

'Made from, actually', Allen mumbled. 'That was my Master's gift to Kanda and L-Lavi…', he turned pink and trailed off.

'Oh dear', Miranda hiccoughed. The others jumped at the sound.

'What-?'

'I'm allergic to almonds!', Miranda wailed. 'I'm going to get all swollen and poofy now!'

'Oh…shit!', Lavi swore. 'Someone get a medic or somethin'!'

Miranda slumped forward on the table. Everyone closed in, gasping.

'M-Miranda?', Lenalee said cautiously.

'She isn't dead is she?', Chaoji said nervously. 'I don't like dead people. They creep me out'

'Shut up, Chaoji!', Lavi snapped, placing a hand on Miranda's shoulder. 'Miranda? Miranda!'

'I don't like almonds', the brown-haired Exorcist groaned, much to the relief of the group. 'I _hate_ almonds.', she sat up suddenly, brown eyes narrowed. 'I wanna kill 'em all.'

'…What?', Allen yelped after several seconds of silence.

'You heard me, Walker', Miranda growled. 'Gimme all them damned almonds. I'm gonna kill them and everyone they ever cared about!'

'Miranda…', Krory said weakly. 'They're just legumes'

'Shut up!', Miranda shouted, standing up. She placed a foot on the seat and pushed. The entire table, complete with its several occupants, skid back several inches.

'I'll kill 'em myself if you idiots ain't gonna help me!', Miranda snarled. She then screamed out a bunch of what appeared to be German curses and stormed out of the cafeteria.

'Ok…', Lavi said, placing a hand on the table to pick himself up. 'What the crap just _happened?_'

'I think those are her allergic reactions', Reever groaned, staggering to his feet. 'Maybe the mix of alcohol and almonds had a negative effect on her.'

'…Or she's totally shit-faced', Kanda grunted. 'Her Innocence controls time. Who knows what could happen if that almond crap got mixed in with that?'

They all shuddered.

'Ok', Allen said, 'We need to find her and convince her the almonds are harmless'

Lavi nodded. 'Before she goes totally nuts', he burst out laughing. 'Geddit? _Nuts?_', the others stared at him silently. He sighed and wiped a tear from his eye.

'You people have no sense of humour', he muttered. 'Alright. Let's go find the Nut Lady!'

----

Miranda ambled down the corridor like a zombie, brown hair tousled, narrowed eyes gleaming.

'You can't hide from me, almonds', she hissed. She heard a squeak and spun around. A small group of almonds were peeking out the corner of a door. They saw her and disappeared.

'Aha!', she cried, diving at them. 'You can't escape from me!', they scattered as she dove at them, squealing and running on short legs.

'Miranda?', a masculine voice grunted. She spun around, eyes wild.

Cross Marian was leaning against a wall, cigarette in one hand, bottle of brandy in the other. He was looking at Miranda quizzically.

'Just got back…', he gestured at the gold and black traveling cloak he wore.

'Are you after them too?', she hissed.

'After what?', he said.

'Those cursed almonds', she snapped. 'What else?', she shook her head. 'People around here can be real stupid sometimes'

Cross raised an eyebrow. 'So says the crazy nut lady', he puffed on the cigarette, sending out a cloud of hazy smoke. Miranda stumbled away from it, coughing.

'If you ain't gonna help me, get lost!', she huffed. Cross's eyebrows disappeared into his flaming red hair.

''scuse me?', he grunted. 'Wait…you're drunk aren't you?', he sighed and grabbed Miranda's upper arm. 'We better return you to-'

Miranda's fist slammed into the corner of his mouth, sending the cigarette flying into space, and her knee slammed into his stomach. He doubled over, reaching for Judgment. Miranda twisted his arm behind his back and flipped over it, kicking him in the head. With a final grunt, he fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes, Miranda looming over him.

'I guess you're on the stupid almond's side'

---

'Komui better not hear about this', Allen muttered as they ran, Krory in the lead. 'He'll skin us alive and hang us on his walls if he knows what we've done'

'So far', Reever panted, 'We've stolen his beret, dumped soba on his head, stole his _KSSESHHFUGLH_…wow that' hard to say, and now we might have a rogue Exorcist who wants to commit cold murder on a legume. Did I miss anything?'

'We need tranquilizer or something', Kanda muttered. 'There's nothing we can do short of knocking her out'

'Those poor almonds must be in a real nutshell', Lavi smiled. Krory, Lenalee, Chaoji and Allen groaned.

'Che', Kanda muttered. 'Your jokes are as bad as your fighting techniques, Baka Usagi'

'That must mean they're awesome then!', Lavi smirked smugly. Kanda mumbled dark words under his breath.

'Woah!', Allen exclaimed. 'What's that?'

Lavi squinted. 'It looks like a burning matchstick'

'T-That's my master', Allen whispered in horror. 'He's upside down!'

They ran over to none other than Cross Marian. He was trussed up like a Christmas turkey, suspended by a thick piece of rope attached to his bound ankles, which was then linked and knotted to a torch on the wall. His face was bright red, and he was screaming something through the gag over his mouth.

'Jesus!', Lavi gasped. 'Who did this?'

More muffled yelling.

'Oh', Lavi smacked a hand to his head. 'Right, my bad', he remove the gag from Cross' mouth.

'I'm gonna kill her when I find her!', he roared. 'How dare she hang me like this?!'

'She?', Kanda said. 'You mean Miranda Lotto?'

'Yes!', Cross snarled. 'When I find her I…I…', he trailed off, panting.

'Maybe we should cut him down', Chaoji suggested. Allen moved over to the torch, hand hovering over the knot. He bit his lip.

'What's wrong?' Reever asked.

'I…I don't know', Allen admitted. 'It seems I can't cut him down.'

'Cut me down, brat!', Cross snarled. Allen narrowed his eyes and stepped away from the rope, crossing his arms. Cross turned purple. Lenalee hastily untied him, where he fell to the ground with a small crash.

'I'm gonna kill you too, brat', he wheezed, flat on his back. 'After I find that German woman…never did like Germans…stab their own comrades in the back…'

'She should be nearby', Krory announced. 'We should catch her quickly.'

'Right', the other replied.

'We should probably run from him', Allen whispered to Lavi as Cross struggled to get back on his feet. He swayed suddenly, clutching his stomach. 'I don't feel too good…'

----

'Stupid almonds…', Miranda mumbled. 'You wait. I'm gonna kill you, and the rest of your stupid family. Mr. Grumpy. Pants is gonna assist me, aren't you?', she turned to the large pink and purple cat beside her. It blinked and growled.

'You haven't seen Mr. Grumpy Pants when he's angry, little nutty bastards', Miranda whispered. 'You should have seen what he did to Mr. Happy Hat…'

Mr. Grumpy Pants let out a loud snarl, jerking his head. Miranda followed, crying out in triumph at the sight of several almonds that had just turned a corner.

Mr. Grumpy Pants leapt forward, Miranda right behind him. The almonds squealed and ran back the way they came from.

Miranda dove for them, only to crash into something hard. She fell back with a grunt, scowling at the object she hit.

'Ow!', Komui Lee whined through the paper bag over his head. 'That was ru-Miranda? What on Earth are you doing?'

'The almonds!', Miranda cried. 'They're gone! You scared 'em off!'

'…What?', Komui said, rubbing his head. 'What almonds?'

'Do you know where they went?', Miranda demanded. 'Tell me!'

'Uh…I have some almonds in my office if you want them', Komui said in confusion jerking a thumb over his shoulder. He sniffled. 'Someone stole my beret _and_ my hair gel…'

'You…you're in league with them?', Miranda whispered dangerously.

'Of course not!', Komui yelped. 'Those meanies stole my most precious belongings!'

'So you will join me then?', Miranda asked. 'They must be annihilated'

'Hmm…a bit drastic, but I like it!', Komui said brightly, getting to his feet. 'I have a new weapon I have been desperate to test on my so-called "allies"'

'So the nuts betrayed you…', Miranda muttered.

'What's that?', Komui called over his shoulder as they walked. 'Oh yes, those nutcases had the sheer nerve to break into my office and steal the only two things I love more than Lenalee!'

'So they've gotten smart', Miranda mused.

A few minutes later, they were at Komui's office. He barged in and slid open a drawer in his desk, ruffling through the contents there while Miranda looked around.

'So those tricky little bastards are in here are they?', she muttered, cracking her knuckles.

'I think they left…', Komui aid without looking up. 'They must have used Innocence to get in here…'

Miranda's head whipped around, eyes wide. 'They have Innocence? So they've evolved too…'

'Huh?', Komui muttered absent-mindedly. 'Aha! Found it!', he pulled out a massive gun, complete with a line of ammunition. 'Let's go find them!'

----

'I _so_ did not sign up for this', Reever muttered.

'You think _I_ want to be here?', Kanda growled. 'As soon as this stupid game is over, Baka Usagi, I am going to skin you alive'

'Relax, Yuu-poo', Lavi said airily. 'Even if you won't admit it, this is the most fun you've had in your boring life'

Kanda lunged at Lavi's undefended back. Krory and Chaoji restrained him while he clawed wildly at the air.

'What kind of nutcase is afraid of…nuts?', Lavi wondered aloud, earning another groan from his group. 'It's like an evil Miranda has emerged…'

'This is why I don't like alcohol', Lenalee said daintily. 'It turns people into complete idiots'

'I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, Lena', Lavi muttered. A few other nodded in agreement. Lenalee turned red and huffed angrily.

A sudden pain in Kanda's arm made him spin around, hissing. His eyes widened and Lavi's jaw dropped.

Allen's teeth were clamped over his upper arm. His eyes were narrowed and hollow. Kanda yelped in shock and tried shaking him off, but he held on tight.

It was only when Lavi waved a carrot in front of his face that Allen relinquished his hold, diving at Lavi instead. The red-haired Exorcist held him back by placing his free hang firmly on Allen's head while he snapped at the air like a piranha.

'Someone hold him back!', Lavi shouted.

'Screw that', Kanda snarled, 'Shoot the damn bean sprout!'

'I'm so hungry!', Allen moaned, trying to escape Krory and Chaoji's chokeholds. 'Give me that damn carrot!'

'You _had_ to dare him not to eat, huh?', Lavi muttered to Kanda. 'Nice going. Now he's a rabid sprout'

'Miranda!', Lenalee shouted suddenly, pointing. The others followed her line of sight, gasping when they saw Komui by her side, holding an over-sized gun. He was still wearing the paper bag.

'They aren't almonds!', Miranda exclaimed. 'They're peanuts!'

'Whatever they are, they're all dead!', Komui cackled, squeezing the trigger on his gun. There was a loud bang and Lenalee suddenly fell back, wrapped in a bubble of pink gum. Only her head was visible, poking out of the top.

'W-What?', she choked out, squirming. 'I cant get out! Komui!', she shouted. She screamed as she started rolling back. Lavi and Kanda reached out to grab her, only succeeding in trapping their hands on the bubble.

'Dammit!', Kanda snarled. Lavi placed both feet on the bubble and tugged back. The ball rolled back towards him and Kanda. Both of them yelled out as they were swallowed, re-emerging on opposite sides of the bubble. It tiled towards Kanda, and his face ended up against the wall, squished up like a fish.

Lavi burst out laughing. A second later Lenalee yelped in pain 'Ow! You kicked me!'

'I thought it was the rabbit', Kanda growled. 'I'm going to kill you!'

Reever, Chaoji, Krory and Allen ran back towards Komui as the bubble rolled towards them.

'I hate this job!', Reever wailed as he got sucked in by the bubble. Allen shrieked and leapt at Komui, teeth clamping around his head. He flailed his arms, shooting randomly.

_Ten minutes later_.

'…Has anyone come by yet?'

'Nope.'

'I hate you.'

'I know.'

'Ouch! Your bubble just hit mine!'

'Well, I'm _sorry!_ It's not like I have much space to bounce around in!'

Everyone glared at Komui, who was trapped inside his own bubble. He chuckled nervously.

'Oops?'

* * *

**_Ah, hope you liked this ^^ I spent a while on it...The randomness of this chapter is probably due to not eating for about a day. Im doing the 40-hour famine, and i cant eat anything till monday T^T So sorry if there were any typos!_**

**_For those who don't like YAOI, i hope you were able to bear with it :3 Sorry to any guys who are reading this! _**

**_Till next time, _**

**_-Lazy Llama- Please check out my new fic! XD_**


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey guys, this notice is going on all of my stores._

_Firstly, i'm sorry for not updating anything in months. Lots of stuff has been happening, and i'm losing my creative flow. Also, like i've said before, i've uploaded too many unfinished stories and i'm feeling the pressure =\ Anyhoo, i'm gonna delete most of the stories on this account and keep only about 3. The rest may or may not be rewritten/retitled, depending on my mood._

_There's a poll up in my profile. vote for up to 3 stories, and the ones with the most votes won't get deleted, but may be rewritten/retitled. _

_Thanks for sticking with me this far!_

sincerely,

Llama.


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